How to Prepare Your Child for Pediatric Plastic Surgery

Surgery is a scary prospect for nearly anyone, but it can be particularly upsetting and confusing for young children. If your child needs to have a procedure and you’re struggling with how to answer all their “why?” questions and prepare them for the process, you aren’t alone.

While every child is unique and will have different reactions to the news they need surgery, there are many things you can do to help reduce their fears and prevent misunderstandings.

First, stay calm and project a positive attitude

It’s normal for you to be experiencing your own fears regarding your child’s surgery, but it is important to keep a positive attitude—even when you aren’t talking directly to your child. Kids are incredibly perceptive, and they can easily pick up on any negative feelings you may have. If they see that an adult is upset, it is likely to heighten their own concerns.

Try to stay as calm as possible and emphasize the good each step of the way. Throughout the process, you can express how wonderful it is to have a group of super people specially helping your child to make their life better. Direct their attention to small things they will enjoy, such as the fact that they’ll get to see a real hospital and all the interesting technology there. And while bribing your child isn’t always the best course of action, when it comes to medical appointments, planning a simple treat afterwards can help them keep their minds off anything that might make them nervous.

If you would like to openly express your own worries with your child’s providers or ask what could sound like alarming questions, ask the doctor or nurses to spend some time with you when your child isn’t present. That will give you time to process and decide how best to share any new information with your child.

Second, speak openly and honestly about surgery and recovery

Your main instinct may be to protect your child from unnecessary distress, but when it comes to surgery, being open is the best way to avoid upsets during the surgery and healing process. The key is being sensitive and discussing things on a level appropriate to your child’s age.

For example, instead of skipping over incision details, show them exactly where to expect them.

Younger children might like to play out the surgical plan on a doll or toy; you can help them practice being the doctor and putting bandages on the “patient.” Older children, such as young teens, may instead need more reassurance about the outcome and so the emphasis may shift toward the expertise of the doctor and how their scars will heal and fade.

Whether your child is on the younger or older side, understanding and rehearsing the process ahead of time in their minds will help them stay calm and feel like everything is going as planned throughout the process.

When speaking about their upcoming surgery, don’t underestimate the power of words and your child’s ability to learn new ones. For instance, it might seem better to use the word “cut” with a young child instead of “incision” because “cut” is a simple word they already know—but the word “cut” may have negative associations with past injuries in their mind. Teaching them the word “incision” instead will make it clear that having a doctor perform a planned operation is different from getting a boo-boo by accident.

In addition to the surgical plan, tell your child how they will feel after surgery and what they can expect while healing. Explain how they will be tired and need to take some medicine, and that they need to do their part resting to get “all better.” Children of any age will like to plan for their bed rest time after surgery by gathering all the items that will entertain and comfort them.

Be realistic about how long it will be before they can run around like usual. When a longer recovery is in order for your child, you can even make a special calendar with milestones, putting a sticker on each day as their recovery progresses.

Whether your child is on the younger or older side, understanding and rehearsing the process ahead of time in their minds will help them stay calm and feel like everything is going as planned throughout the process.

Be sure to let them ask questions & discuss their fears

When you talk with your child about their upcoming surgery, there’s a very good chance they’re going to be bursting with questions. Do your best to answer all the questions you can—and if you’re unsure of an answer, tell them you will find out together. Avoid simply evading questions that are difficult to answer, which leaves room for your child’s imagination to run wild (or worse, prompts them to try and find the answers themselves online or from peers!). Make a list of questions together that you can bring along to the next appointment.

Sometimes it’s easy to try allaying a child’s fears by discounting them; “there’s nothing to be afraid of! You’ll do fine!” However, remind yourself that you would be experiencing the exact same emotions if you were in the situation—and that you may be inadvertently belittling their concerns rather than easing them.

Allow them to admit their fears, show understanding, and help them honor them in a healthy way. Rather than discounting a fear as silly or unnecessary, tackle it head on. Are they afraid of pain? Explain that there will be some discomfort, but that their surgeon and anesthesiologist have helped many kids and will use the right medicines to keep them as comfortable as possible. Is the thought of anesthesia filling them with dread? Go over exactly what will happen and how effective it is in keeping them safe and comfortable.

Avoid surprises

Leading up to surgery, arrange a meet and greet with the surgeon and any nurses they’ll be seeing. Being surrounded by familiar faces on surgery day should help your child feel more comfortable and safe.

Though it can be difficult to prepare for others’ reactions or commentary, do your best to control the flow of information around your child both before and after surgery. Keep news of the surgery within a close group and make sure they are aware of your “game plan.” Help your child understand who does know about their procedure, and who they don’t need to tell if they don’t want to.

Involve them in the process

Children naturally have less control and independence than adults—and a big event like surgery can make them more aware of that fact. It’s easy to accidentally leave them out of the process, which can lead to them feeling powerless.

To prevent this, make sure to include them in discussions and empower them to help make certain choices. Here are a few ideas for getting them involved:

• If your child is younger, encourage them to play with a toy medical kit and help introduce them to the tools they are likely to see at the doctor’s office or on surgery day.

• Give them control over a few details, such as picking out a new pair of pajamas to wear in the hospital or when they return home, choosing a familiar item (a toy, stuffed animal, or blanket) to bring along, or even planning healthy meals for recovery.

• If paperwork needs to be filled out, have them also sign their name or “review” the documents with you.

Remember: we’re here to help

As a mother and pediatric plastic surgeon, I understand how concerning it can be to hear your child needs surgery. In addition to ensuring your child has a safe, successful surgery, one of my top priorities is helping them feel comfortable and that they are in safe hands—and I am happy to work closely with your family to make sure that happens. Remember that while you know your child best, your pediatric plastic surgeon has much experience working with children in similar situations. Don’t hesitate to request our help in easing both your and your child’s fears.

If you are in the process of choosing a surgeon to perform your child’s procedure or have any questions at all about the process, please call me at (804) 355-3410.